Excuses for blowing off a Training Ride

Excuses we’ve heard for blowing off Training Rides:

  • I have to cover my wife’s plants (used in Gainesville, Florida by a supposed local hard man).
  • I haven’t washed my tights since last winter.
  • Moths ate my wool jersey.
  • I have a baby shower going on.
  • I left my legs at the charity ride.
  • I can’t find my plum cozy (modified cod piece).
  • I have to be at the University President’s house at 5:30pm.
  • I’m not showing because there are green blobs on the radar map.
  • The gaps in my 1x drivetrain aren’t suitable for the local terrain.
  • I forgot to charge my Di2 battery.

 Excuses K-Dogg has heard:

  • There’s a football game on.
  • I drank two beers last night.
  • All I have is f’n tea!
  • I have to go to church to please my f’n mother in law.
  • Game traffic will be bad.
  • All I have are f’n 25mm Road tires. I will be crushed in the sign sprints.
  • I had a deep tissue massage last night.
  • I forgot to charge my Garmin.
  • J.D. (local mechanic) is putting new spooge in my tires and the shop doesn’t open ’til 10.
  • The gravel route is deep sand and I only have a straight block (that’s a cassette in the modern-day lingo).
  • I’m out of sunscreen.

This article dedicated to the November 2014 Florida cold snap that the local soft serves were complaining about.

Charlie Gaul would be having none of these excuses.
Charlie Gaul would be having none of these excuses.

3 comments on “Excuses for blowing off a Training Ride

  1. There’s a game on.
    I drank two beers last night.
    All I have is fucking tea!
    I have to go to church to please my fucking mother in law.
    Game traffic will be bad.
    All I have are fucking 25c. Road tires. I will be crushed in the sign sprints!

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